amandab!

Some of my best memories took place in that basement.  We did a lot of growing up down there.  My circle of friends in high school really made me who I am.  It’s weird to think that we are all such different people now.  We all have our own lives.  Everything from then is so far away now.

Am I living the life I thought I’d live?  I don’t know what that life was.  I never knew what I wanted to do other than just be alive.  I thought I had a plan so many times;  It never works out the way you want.  There are always wrenches thrown in, life just has that way of happening.  I thought I’d be friends with them forever.  I never expected to grow up and grow apart.  I never expected all the surprises that came up.

I don’t make friends the same way anymore.  I always go in expecting the worst and waiting for it to be over before it starts.  I worry about keeping people’s attention, about how they’re going to react to me once they get to know me.  Most of the time I feel like I can’t maintain friendships the way I used to.  And it sucks. But I think that’s another anxiety for another time.